Starting over again and again and again. Every year almost everyone sets a resolution to lose weight. Every year it seems like everyone forgets about said resolution after like 3 weeks. This year I said I was going to lose weight. No set amount just weight. My employer helps motivate me to do that by offering a discount on my insurance premium if I'm under a certain BMI or if I have lost 10% of my weight from my last wellness check. Unfortunately, I started my job at the hospital the last week of December first week of January and I was already 3/4 months pregnant which didn't help my BMI as I was clearly showing that I was pregnant. I also might have had pregnancy brain and kept forgetting to schedule my wellness check so it wasn't done until April. Oops. I had my son in May so I was fairly big. I mean I'm a big girl anyways but I'm definitely big when I'm 8 months pregnant. Killed my chances on the BMI department. Just kidding there's no way I would have hit their goal pregnant or not.
Since I was pregnant all I could do was maintain my same weight and not use pregnancy as an excuse to eat everything in sight like some women do. My weight fluctuated but was always within a 5 pound range for the most part.
The BMI goal is my my long-term goal that would put me in the weight range of around 160 pounds. I would have to lose 100+lbs to reach that weight. Hence it being my long-term goal. I don't know how long this will take but I'm determined to get there.
My short-term goal is to lose 10% of my body weight. And it is very much possible and achievable since I lost 5% since I have had my wellness check in April. Yes, I did kind of cheat since I was pregnant but I didn't gain that much while I was pregnant, and everyone knows how hard it is to lose weight after pregnancy especially after a c-section when you can't do anything for 8 weeks. So realistically that gave me 3 months to lose 10% and I lost 5%. I'm not going to beat myself up over that. I still lost quite a bit. Bummer I don't get the discount but hey there's always next year. Plus being healthy is the main goal.
I don't know for sure what route I'm going to go for the weight loss plan. I'm thinking about getting a gym membership. I know the Youth and Community Center membership is $30/year so that puts me out of the excuse of I don't have the money. But they do have only certain hours they are open. Whereas, The Gym of Cushing is around $35/month and it is open 24/7. Which would mean I could go at any time of day on any given day. That throws out the time excuse. Of course there is always the track that's free but that's just walking. I want the option to start lifting weights again and everything I use to do.
The point is idk what I'm doing, but I am determined to lose all this weight and hopefully with an awesome support team I will be able to do that. Sometimes when i dont have a support team I get discouraged and depressed and just want to eat because I use food as a comfort item. If I'm bored. I eat. If I'm mad. I eat. If I'm depressed. I eat. Well at least I use to. I have become a lot more aware of my over eating habits.
Does that mean I can't have a Twix or two every now and then? No. Does that mean I'm going to eat one every day? No. It just means I'm not going to neglect myself from things but I will learn to control myself. I mean after all everyone knows I'm a control freak that tries to control everyone and everything but herself. Hypocritical? Yes. I'm working on it. Dont judge me. Starting over again one thing at a time and eventually everything will fall into place.
So this is me asking for your help. To help keep me motivated. To help keep me on track. To remind me that sometimes we have to make some sacrifices to get what we really want. And sometimes it's okay to not see the scale go down because there are non scale victories also. If you know me you know I don't ask for help much, but this is something I really need help with because I don't want to have to start again with this goal. I want to finish it and be healthy so I can play with my kids and live a healthy life.
And for anyone who actually read all of this thanks I appreciate it. I'm going to try to start writing so I can keep everyone updated and hopefully it will help me learn how to express my emotions. Until next time hopefully.
P.S. I did walk over a mile today because I'm not trying to make excuses anymore. :)
--Tiffany Nicole
